"and the rosebuds know to bloom in early may"

This is one of my favourite lyrics from one of my favourite songs: As by Stevie Wonder. The song itself holds so much more than just a melody and some lyrics. To me it holds a mountain of memories from my childhood. This was my mum's favourite song, and I always remember listening to it, so now everytime I hear it all I can picture is me and my mum dancing around the lounge with it playing on the record player in the background. No matter how many times I listen to this song, I'm never bored of hearing it and re-living my childhood. 

 

This particular lyric "the rosebuds know to bloom in early may" shows how every living being has the power to know what to do and when to do it, and recently that has become very relevant in my life. I'm 18 now, and that's the time in your life when you come to realise things about yourself which you may not have known before, and for me it was realising that I've finally been able to let go of my mum, who sadly passed away. It is sad to say, but I'm slowly forgetting things about her, but in away I think that its ok because I know one day I will see her again, and then I will be able to learn things about her all over again. I think what made me realise this is when my great-grandmother died just before Christmas, and I was sharing an embrace with my grandmother and she whispered to me "now I know how painful it was for you to lose your mother" and when she said that I noticed that I wasn't in pain anymore.

Similarly, I had a dream where I was rushing to the hospital to see my mum, who in some weird science experiment had been awoken from the dead. I finally got to her bedside and I was so worried that she wouldn't recognise me because the last time she saw me I was a ten year old with shorter hair and a more childlike face. But the second she saw me, she sat up weakly, whispered my name and gave me a hug. She said she had known everything that happened in my life in the past eight years like she really had been watching over me. When I woke up from my dream, I was quite content. I wasn't sad that my dream wasn't real which was strange for me, and this confirmed that I really was OK with letting her go.

 

I'm drifting off of subject now, but what I'm trying to say is that we all know ourselves well enough to know what is best for us, like rosebuds blooming in early may, and despite the sadness of it, letting go of my mum I think is what is best for me.